In my heart

When I picked up Avery at her sitter Donna's one day this week, Donna said "we had a confusing situation at lunch time today."

Apparently the "situation" was that one of the other girls at Donna's used the Lord's name in vain. Donna had a conversation with the toddler about how she doesn't really want her using the phrase ("Oh my G__") in her house. She said after overhearing the conversation Avery quietly said, "I talk about God at my house." Avery clearly thought she was going to get in trouble by saying this, and Donna then realized that the conversation had been confusing for her. She said, "it's okay to talk about God, I just don't want His name to be used in the wrong way." Donna said Avery looked at her with big eyes and said, "God is in my HEART."

I realize that Ave is only 2 1/2 years old and does not understand the full scope of faith (does anyone?), but the simplicity of these words struck me. There is so much truth in those few words:

God is in MY heart.

I have started a bible study by Beth Moore this month and have been led to scripture about God dwelling in our hearts through the Holy Spirit. We often think about religion in a complicated way, but what we miss at times is the true simplicity of faith. Even when we try to do everything just right, we can miss the crucial step of allowing God in. And what happens when God sets up residency in our hearts? We can do things (through His power) that we absolutely could not do without Him.

I remembered a phrase at church a couple weeks back that had struck me and went on the hunt to look it up in my journal. The worship leader had said, "May we live so extravagantly that the light of the Lord shine through us." On first thought, it does not sounds like something taught in church --- extravagance. But she didn't speak of living extravagantly in a way of having excess materials and worldly items, she spoke about living life with extravagant love. Uninhibited, generous and deep love for others. I want to live like that! How do we fill our hearts with this extravagant love? Beth Moore describes a process of cleansing oneself as a "pouring out," "pouring in," and "pouring forth."

The idea is to pour out the questions and concerns in our hearts (worries, anxieties, fears, insecurities) to God and then to fill our hearts with the Holy Spirit so that all we do, think, and say is a reflection of God's love. If we can do this it will allow us to pour ourselves forth into the world to connect with others and show God's great love in all we do - yes, even in our greatest moments of impulse (which is very, very, very challenging no matter what way you spin it - I seem to feel some form of envy EVERY day, and it will hit me out of nowhere and make me say/think things I don't mean).

I am not perfect, nor will I ever be. I am weak, and I cave to impulses that are definitely not of the Holy Spirit. But, I am going to start implementing this exercise into my daily life - pour in, pour out, pour forth. It makes me very aware of what I allow in my life and where I tend to falter. I'm going to try to fill up on the "good stuff." I want to respond without questioning - "God is in my heart," and mean it with my WHOLE heart.