My "bigger" girl!

Have to give you the latest news on Miss Ave! Some big changes and milestones have occurred around here lately. I keep referring to her as a "big girl" but then she always does one-million-zillion more things that make her an even "bigger" girl!

Our 31-month-old (funny-sounding, huh?) just got her new toddler side added to her bed. No longer caged into a crib, she's free as a bird. Well, as free as a bird who still wants to live in a cage. I realize I may be speaking too soon, but it's been almost 3 weeks and she has yet to get out of her bed without asking, except to retrieve her Dora doll that had fallen overboard. She loves her bed and climbing in and out, but she's such a rule follower. When we've told her to stay in her bed she actually listens.

Another huge milestone to be noted... she's almost 100% potty-trained!

Avery has been using the potty for a while. We never really got the whole "reward system" potty-training thing that people talk about, rewarding your child every time they go (Avery started pitching fits trying to get an m&m without going potty and I put the kibosh on the m&m thing very quickly). Here's something that did work REALLY well with her though and helped to establish a routine with an eventual reward that she worked toward... last month we started rewarding her on a cupcake chart (nothing fancy, you can see below). She got to add a cupcake sticker on her chart each morning if she made it through the night and didn't have an accident in her pull-up:

Once she filled up her chart, she earned a REAL cupcake...

(Courtesy of Sunflour Baking Co. Mmm!)

Demolished:

One night she asked if she could wear panties instead of pull-ups. We had a serious discussion about what happens if she has an accident (she HATES messes), but she was adamant about her decision so we went with it. We are two weeks deep into Avery sleeping in big girl panties, and she's been dry every morning since she decided that's what she wanted to do!

I'm realizing that I'm sounding like the mother that says her child does no wrong, and that is simply not true. Apparently, just this weekend in the afternoon Avery had a bathroom-related accident that was quite traumatic for both Daddy and Avery. But see, I was coincidentally at the grocery store during the time. So, what I don't witness I will just plain ignore. :)

The biggest battle with Avery at the moment is the "I do it MYSELF!" argument. Yes, things may seem to take 10x longer than if I helped, but I think it's wonderful that she is expressing her independence. Usually this means that she actually does the same task several times in a row (examples: opening a door, putting shoes on) just to prove to me that she can in fact do it herself. If I wasn't already slow-moving enough to begin with, this definitely doesn't help my cause!

My heart smiled so big a couple weeks ago when Jeff and I picked Avery up from the toddler room after church. Ave spotted me, chucked a toy she was playing with over her shoulder dramatically, and came running to me yelling, "Mommy, I missed you SOOOOO much." She gave me a big bear hug and then immediately turned on her heel saying, "Now I go back and plaaaaay!" I can't sum up her personality any more perfect than that - she is a kid who expresses her love and want for us, but then expresses her confidence and independence in the next breath. Couldn't ask for a better balance!

One giant pile o' problems

"If we all threw our problems in a pile, and looked at each other's, we'd grab our's back!"

As I have explained my sorrows and recent life issues to others, many times I also in the same breath will say something to the tune of "but they are my problems, and I would choose them over someone else's." And most of the time, when I think of things in a bigger sense, that is true.

There are also times that I say "what the H-E-double hockey sticks? I don't want this life! Why was I chosen for this? Why did this happen to me?! Everyone else gets it so good."

Several people have shared with me the imagery of what I'm going to call the Giant Pile o' Problems. Basically, the thought is that if everyone in the world threw their problems into a massive pile and we saw what laid in that pile of problems, we'd be VERY quick to grab our problem back. I can get on board with that philosophy. It definitely personalizes our problems and shows us that we tend to find ways to manage what we've been given and have a hard time imagining how we would handle someone else's issues.

But think on this... wouldn't it be more amazing if we could all stand in a circle around that giant pile o' problems and said in chorus: "good-bye, problems... we release you to GOD."

Yes, there are daily worries and daily challenges that we must deal with, but what if each day we could let go a little more? Maybe we don't want to just throw our problem in a pile to stare at it and compare it against others, but instead we want to raise it up and let it go. Let's admit we are not in control! I want to release my firm grip on all of this "stuff" I try and control day in and day out. The anxiety is just not worth it and life has much more to offer.

Avery the Explorer

Avery has a new love - Dora the Explorer!

Now, every morning she's all "let's go on an adventure" and I'm all "Let me drink my coffee first... but whatcha got in mind?" Sometimes her adventure calls for a map and she insists I draw one out for her. How she follows my interesting diagrams I'll never know, but she always gets to her destination!

Love for her new Dora doll from Nana:

Consulting the map:

Playing in her Dora tent (with her trusty backpack - always an necessity):

Aside from Dora being SLIGHTLY annoying (as Jeff says, "Why does Dora always sound like she's yelling?"), I love that the show is inspiring a sense of adventure AND teaching Avery some Spanish in a comprehensive way. The other day we were talking about counting (in English) and then Avery just busted out with an "uno, dos, tres." I added "cuatro" to which she responded "cinco."

And, who knew it could be a learning point for me, too? I definitely never knew how to spell "cuatro" until I just looked it up.

Gracias, Dora!

Life Inspection

Time flies... it just does. Whether you are having fun, whether you are in a bad mood, whether you want to crawl into a hole and hide, or shout from the mountaintops.

Yesterday marked 6 months since Lucy was born.

SIX MONTHS!

And yesterday was ONE OF THOSE DAYS.

I actually woke up yesterday feeling inspired and strong. I thought - man, I'm feeling good. Much better than last month and the month before.

Then, while on the way to Avery's sitter's house I got pulled over by a policeman telling me that my registration is expired. I had tried to pay the renewal fee a couple weeks back and got a letter this week telling me I needed an inspection first. I should have just gone and gotten it done right away, but alas I did not.

DOH!

There is something about being stopped by a cop that makes you feel stupid and vulnerable. I was literally shaking and Avery was so confused, both of us on the verge of tears ("I jus' wanna got to Dooonna's!"). After he spent what seemed like an hour in his car with my license, he came back and delivered (thankfully) only a stern reminder: GO GET AN INSPECTION. Ok, ok, yes, yes, thank you, thank you. After that the cop softened and gave a little wave to Ave in the back. I went from being sad she had to see me cry to happy that she may have just saved me from getting a ticket.

After that experience I was a bit paranoid and planned to go get my car inspected on my lunch break. But on the way there I went by a flower shop. It was one of those hole-in-the-wall places that have about 15 fresh flowers you could pick from. I found myself pulling in and picking up a fresh gerber daisy.

I went over to Lucy's grave and laid the pretty little simple flower beside her headstone (it's in the ground now and looks great!) and just had some moments to reflect.

Where was I six months ago?

Where am I now?

Where am I going...?

Definitely wasn't making it to get the car inspected at lunch, that's for sure. But maybe I needed the time for my own life-inspection. Time is just flying and I can't control it. We just keep on living our lives. We surely do not know what is next on our grand timeline, do we? NO. But we know God has something better for each and every one of us when everything here is gone.

"For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens."

"So we are always confident; even though we know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord - for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we do have confidence, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him."

~ 2 Corinthians 5:1-2, 6-9

I am by no means implying that I want to leave this earth, but yesterday made me think about what happens when our registration for life is "expired." In desperate attempts to "get it all done" do we ignore ourselves and what we really need? When do we need a LIFE inspection to renew our zest for living? When do we need to do some self-maintenance to get us back to where we need to be in a faith-full manner? God was sending me a message yesterday. I need to be confident in his care for me while I am here on this earth and aim to please him with my words and actions. I've been angry, bitter and sad lately. And though in some ways I feel I'm entitled to it, I know that I need to snap out of it.

I think about what Lucy would be doing now if she were here with us. But Lucy wasn't meant to be here yesterday, or today. She wasn't meant to be here tomorrow. She was a borrowed gift from God and was never "mine" to begin with. The memory of us welcoming her into our lives is 6 months old. It's a beautiful memory - one I am grateful for, one I am proud of, one I cherish. I get to hold on to that memory forever, no matter what amount of time passes.

Oh, and don't worry, I'm still planning to get that car inspection done so I stay out of trouble. Ticket or not, it is NO FUN being pulled over. But, in a way, yesterday might not have been so eye-opening without that stern reminder.

I am and will continue to be a work in progress, and today is a new day.

Christmas at the White House, 2011 - part 2

On Christmas Eve we went to the 1:30 service at church and despite it reaching well into nap-time, Avery did great. She usually goes to the toddler room, but she came with us and enjoyed the music and singing by candlelight. That evening we went over to our friends the Nall's house for dinner, as my friend Heather had so graciously offered to have us join her family. We had to snap some pictures of Avery and her friend Mac decorating cookies. Mac was a SERIOUSLY AWESOME decorator. Holy sprinkles!

Some of Avery's masterpieces:

Unfortunately I did not get a picture of the just-as-equally awesome twice-baked potatoes that were as big as my head. Yum.

When we got home, we allowed Avery to open a Christmas Eve gift.

(Christmas PJ's and a book - a tradition!)

We also made sure to sprinkle "reindeer food" outside so Rudolph and Santa got knew exactly where to park the sleigh.

The last step was setting out our cookies & milk for Santa!

On Christmas morning, when I went up to her room, Avery asked enthusiastically "Is Santa HERE?" After explaining to her that he doesn't actually stay at our house, she came on down to see what he left her...

Oh, look a sideways video, that we can't seem to flip!:

Santa brought her a new tricycle and helmet, some boots and books. Mommy made a big floor pillow for her and daddy got her the successful Little People pirate ship - a huge hit. She also enjoyed her "leaptop" from Grandpa and BeeGee.

One of the most exciting moments? When Avery opened the movie "The Lion King" which she calls "Hakuna Matata" because she LOVES that video from seeing it on the computer. Here's the video of her opening it, and yes, it's sideways too:

Christmas breakfast was a huge stack of pancakes made into a birthday cake for Jesus (with another candle on the table in honor of Lucy). We spent most of the day in our pajamas relaxing, watching movies, reading and playing - just lots of good ol' family time. All in all, definitely a Christmas to remember!

Christmas at the White House, 2011 - part 1

I am finally getting around to getting these photos uploaded from December & Christmas!

This year was very different for several reasons, but the best part was that Avery was a VERY active participant in all of the holiday fun! Here are some pictures from our busy month as we got ready for Christmas!

She helped pick gifts, she helped decorate the tree in a fairly appropriate way (we only broke ONE ornament! or two if you count the one in the store that came home with us), she helped bake cookies for Santa, and she actually had gifts that she "asked" for. She loved singing many of our favorite Christmas songs. (Question - does anyone actually KNOW the words for "Frosty the Snowman"? Answer the question quickly, then try and sing it and see how far you get.)

My fabulous friend Lindsay (who did our family pics back in May) took our Christmas photos this year at a tree farm:

We love that she was able to capture us and tie in our sweet little angel, Lucy, too.

And don't forgot our Christmas kitties!... don't they look thrilled:

One weekend we went over to the Billy Graham Library to see all of the lights and decorations. Avery loved the live nativity, as did I! I tell ya, the live nativity gets me EVERY time! Just makes me feel all Christmas-y.

New Year sMiles

This just in...

My new nephew is here!

Miles Bricker Zarate:

Born January 4, 2012 at 9:26 a.m.

8 lbs 4 oz

21.5 inches

Mom and baby doing great after the c-section. Apparently Big Bro Parker had on a t-shirt that says he's the "big brother in charge." Get ready, little Miles B... You are really going to have to hit the ground running. :)

The last couple days I've been trying to write something New Year's-ish for the bliggity-blog, and who knows maybe I still will, but I think this sweet little bundle really represents what I see for this new year - beauty, grace, hope, love, and SMILES. I was honestly a bit terrified of 2012 before now (more on that later), but I know that God is good all of the time.

Welcome, my new little love bug!