The White Family

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Writing Skills

Avery is doing a wonderful job writing her letters... In the case below, I wrote in blue and she wrote in red! Love seeing her sense of pride and accomplishment!

Friday, February 8, 2013

#3

We are excited, humbled, anxious and filled with joy to share with everyone publicly that we are expecting a baby this August! Baby White #3 is due on August 6th.

It's no secret that we had a desire to have another baby after our devastating loss of Lucy, but there was so much to wrap our minds around and we really had to trust God's plan and timing. We hadn't ever "planned" on having three children, and we never wanted to feel like we were replacing Lucy. She can't be replaced and she will now always be our middle child.

This pregnancy has been a challenge already in several ways (emotionally and physically) and is a totally different experience from our first two. I feel grateful for every day and every moment in a new way. With the emotion comes healing.

This baby is a gift, as each and every one is. To us, this baby is truly a spiritual and transformative gift.

After much thought and prayer we decided to have the first trimester screening done this time around, which means I had a blood test done about three weeks ago and then we followed that with an ultrasound on January 30th. We got to see the blood test results that day as well. (The test is a non-invasive screening and is performed to look for certain signs of a genetic disorder, several of which can be identified this early in a pregnancy - and many linked to known trisomies like Down's Syndrome, Trisomy 13 & Trisomy 18). We needed to know "what we were working with," for lack of a better way to say it. I prayed long and hard for clear results either way. We were relieved to receive great news that everything looked wonderful (he or she is adorable and they found no signs of genetic anomalies!), growth was "perfect" (doc's words!!), and my risk rate calculated similar to that of a 20 year old (ego boost!!!). We know that the worries aren't over, but these results were just what we needed to hear to have some sort of peace of mind to balance out the paranoia and fear.

Here's a blurry picture of Baby White #3:

Baby on January 30th, 2013

Avery is disappointed it will take a while to meet this baby, saying "I really want to see the baby OUTSIDE of Mommy's belly." This will be a lesson in patience for a 3 1/2 year old. She's already complaining that Valentine's Day isn't coming quick enough, so explaining the baby waiting game over and over will be a lesson in patience for Jeff and I as well. There could be other challenges too... when I asked her if she was going to be a "good big sister" to this baby, she paused and said, "well, I'm still going to be a little bit bad. Not TOO bad. I'll be a good big sister." Hmm. :)

Thanks for celebrating with us. Our next ultrasound is the anatomy scan on March 6th and we will be anxious to see sweet baby again.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Holiday Recap

Our 2012 Holiday Recap...

Christmas Eve:

Avery going out to leave the reindeer their magical oats so they knew where to park the sleigh.

Christmas Morning:

Christmas morning surprises!

Doc McStuffins doctor kit

Stack of homemade donut holes for Jesus' birthday cake this year. Didn't have time time to make the coffee cake!

"I told you he would bring me my toy!" This was the top item on her list this year!

Visiting with Jeff's family in St. James:

Jeff with his brothers and Dad!

Jeff & Me, Amie & Brad, Joy & Doug

The girls!

Avery's new guitar from Uncle Brad and Amie!

Oak Island Beach:

Our hiking adventure, hoping to see Venus fly traps (no luck):

Ave and BeeGee!

The very day we got back to Charlotte, my parents came to town:

Candy Land fun with Papa

Out to eat fun.

Trip to Melting Pot for fondue fun. Take a wild guess if Avery liked chocolate fondue.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Holiday Luminary Service

On December 15th, our family joined several others in a holiday luminary service to honor our babies that we have lost.

I have gotten to know these amazing women and mothers through a grief journey I never expected to be on. I'm honored to know them and thank God for bringing such special and inspirational women into my life:

Pretty girls dressed in pink as they remember their siblings:

The luminaries:

Many thanks to Shawn for sharing photos and of course for all the set-up and supplies. We were so thankful to have the chance to remember our Lucy with all of you! Our little angels spent Christmas together in heaven. Though our hearts were heavy as we wished they were with us, I feel quite certain that there was a mighty celebration up there.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

A Dream

I woke up Sunday morning to a beautiful, moving sky. Pops of pink clouds drifted through the bright blue sky - it looked like like cotton candy. I walked outside alone to take it in and was reminded of God’s smiling spirit and the beauty of His creation... great joy and appreciation fills my heart just thinking about it.

That same day I had woken up with a dream on my mind that I had dreamt probably a year or so before...

I am rising, rising, up, up. Sights and sounds are indistinguishable. I have no idea what is going on or where I am, but I am feeling comfortable with the sensation. I am floating, light as a cloud. Content.

As I slow down I arrive in a very bright place, filled with light coming from all angles. I wonder how that’s possible. I am blinded by the light – it fills up every shadow, every fold of darkness. I am warm. I am happy.

Then seemingly from nowhere I see her. She running toward me arms outstretched. A little girl, blonde with ribbons and dress swinging behind her. She runs confidently and surely at ME. As she reaches me with her embrace, I fall to my knees and into her arms. I embrace her back. We are inseparable. My angel, my Lucy, my daughter. I am with her. My heart is full. This is love.

And when I woke up from that dream I knew I had just gotten my first glimpse of what a heavenly reunion with my little girl will be like.

As we approach what I consider is another milestone in my grief process (Lucy would have been 18 months this week), I think back on this dream and seek comfort and peace. Today, Avery who is currently into Cinderella, asked when "her dreams would come true." When I asked her what her dream was she said, "That Lucy would come home with us." I have no idea how she senses these things, but it's like she just KNOWS what I am going through.

Despite the pain, I'm thanking God today for where I've been and where I'm going. I know I can continue to dream big dreams and have the highest of hopes. But most of all I know I am able to find satisfaction in a simple moment and peace in a plan and purpose that is greater than my own.