A "rainbow baby" is a term used to describe a child conceived after the loss of another. Parents who have lost call our babies this understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not take away the ravages of a storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds.
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| Avery drew this picture at school for me :) |
As I reach the final days, hours and minutes of pregnancy, I'm anxious to meet our little Rainbow Baby. I'm excited to see how he will shape our family and add to it in magnificent ways.
Over a week ago, my midwife told me I was "almost" 3 cm, 80% effaced and that his head was engaged at almost -1... so of course I thought I'd go into labor LAST weekend. I must say I went to work on Monday and Tuesday kind of sad that he still had not made his arrival! Two days ago, my midwife told me that I was still sitting pretty with the same stats as last week. Regardless of any progress or lack thereof, I think once you get to the final stage of pregnancy you feel like your baby HAS to come early because a) surely you are running out of room, b) you are most definitely uncomfortable, and c) it's really hard not to think about every possibility under the sun of how labor will strike. I'm sitting at that point of "in between" one stage and the next. My life is about to change again. I'm nervous sitting here thinking about it all. I do know that I feel thankful that I've made such a happy and comfy space for him, and I'm trying to soak up the last moments of the oneness I feel with him. I'm cherishing all of the sweet kicks, nudges and hiccups knowing this is a special and sacred time. The discomfort I feel is nothing when I think of what my body is preparing for, and what our family has in store!
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| 34 weeks |
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| 37 weeks |
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| 39 weeks |
Even in these final days, I couldn't eat more peanut butter or drink more lemon-y-lime drinks if I tried. These have been my biggest cravings during this pregnancy. I've carried this baby especially low compared to past pregnancies. As I get closer to my due date, I am sure he'll be a pretty big boy!
One thing I want to remember about him during pregnancy is how he moves when I read to Avery. Every single night as I lay down with her to read, I lay on my left side and no matter what the time, he always wakes up and moves around like crazy. Avery is of course highly amazed by this, and it doesn't get old for either one of us. I told her baby boy might have to join us for story time occasionally, which she agreed was a good idea (for now). I feel like he might miss our nightly ritual if we don't include him from time to time! :)
We are definitely on baby watch, taking it easy yet trying to stay distracted and busy enough too. When I get depressed he isn't here yet Jeff reminds me that he IS coming, and SOON. (As if I should need this reminder - haha - but well, yes I do!) We will have this baby in our arms soon.
I love that we know baby is a boy.
I love that we know his name.
I love that he will be Avery and Lucy's little brother.
I love that Jeff and I will finally know the bond of having a son.
I love that we will meet him soon.
Until then... baby boy, we are waiting as patiently as we can! :)
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