No one said it would be easy

So, it's about time I give some "blog love" to the baby, AKA "White Baby #2." I have started this update so many times, and just have not been able to put everything into words. Bear with me here - I'm trying! I have now passed the 30-week mark of my pregnancy, and feel like I've hit what could be considered the home stretch. But it has not been easy (As you can tell from the tired-looking photo below, documenting the pregnancy at 30 weeks - yikes. I can tell why Jeff despises taking these pictures - ha).

The second trimester, which most would describe as the easiest, most enjoyable part of pregnancy, was burdened with a lot of worry and stress. As each doctor appointment (with the specialist) approaches I am filled with a mix of excitement and fear. At my previous appointment on April 28th, I met with Dr. Stephenson, another specialist at CMC Women's Institute - I was really hoping to get a better idea of what to expect with the cleft and palate. The ultrasound was fairly inconclusive and we couldn't get any pictures of the cleft to give us a better idea of what to expect. I was extremely frustrated with the whole process (as it was a THREE HOUR process) - especially when I couldn't get the information I wanted. Baby was cute, but NOT very cooperative. As Avery would say "Not nice, baby. Not nice!" The kidneys still had quite a bit of extra fluid at this visit.

Then, on May 9, I added to my stress by failing my O'Sullivan's Test - the initial glucose screening. After fretting for 10 days about how I was going to have to go on some extreme diet and get insulin shots (because in my mind SURELY I had gestational diabetes) I took the three hour glucose test on May 18th and PASSED it. Mark that one off the list, thankfully. Celebrated by eating Starburst candies. Practically an entire bag of starburst. Oops.

Between the glucose tests, visits with my regular midwife at Charlotte OB, and the appointments with the specialists at CMC Women's Center, I have spent a good deal of time down at Morehead Medical Plaza. Thank goodness it's not even a quarter mile from my office! Overall, I feel good, baby is very obviously growing and getting stronger, and we have yet to have an appointment where his or her heartbeat isn't just the healthiest sounding heartbeat I ever did hear. Love love love that strong little heartbeat - never fails to make my own beat a little stronger! Yet, just when we start coming to terms with things, gaining more confidence and hope that all is FINE...

... Yesterday at our 31-week appointment with Dr. Stephenson, we learned an additional detail about the baby that has us worried all over again. They scanned over the baby's hands and showed us what they are fairly certain is an extra digit on the left hand. If isolated this is a cosmetic and easily fixable issue, but you can imagine the overall tone in the room when this was discovered on top of what we already knew - and I was scared to death. Along with the cleft and the extra fluid in the kidneys, the chances of something more medically serious with the baby have been elevated once again. :(

There is no sure knowledge we can gain unless we do an amnio or wait until baby gets here, so at this point we will probably wait. We will go back on June 30th so that they can take another look at the kidneys, but we have chosen to isolate that issue, as the others are cosmetic and repairable. We are just praying steadily that they are not related to any larger issue.

We'd really appreciate the additional prayers for baby and for our family in the coming weeks. We still need to make a final decision about the amnio before this next appointment, and we hope to find peace in our decision whether we move forward with testing or not. And of course, at the end of the day, we pray that we can bring a healthy little baby home from the hospital to put in those cute little newborn diapers, to swaddle in those soft little blankets, to kiss and cuddle constantly. We pray that our baby will come to know an unconditional love no matter what. Please pray that each day we can be reminded about God's love for us and that He may continue to reveal to us signs of a plan that is much bigger than our own.

Many thanks to those of you who are supporting us along the way.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Philippians 4:13